by Greg Talcott
I am having an absolutely dreadful fantasy season at 2-5 in a twelve team league. My team was ultimately undone by crippling injuries to my running backs. Other people I know are suffering from the under-performance of Top 10 draft picks like Todd Gurley and DeAndre Hopkins. This is not a result of making a bad draft choice, it’s just bad luck. Most of us don’t play with a guy like Taco from The League; someone who drafts a kicker in the first round. For the most part, players go where they should go in leagues; with some flyers here and there. We are drafting off of historic data, but more importantly, projected performance. The problem with projections is they are slightly more accurate than guessing. Get it right and you are a genius or lucky in the eyes of a cynic. Get it wrong and you better have a darn good reason or your credibility can be destroyed…unless you are an economist or politician.
As I looked over my preseason qualitative rankings for quarterbacks I was generally pretty happy. But boy was I wrong on some of those picks! That got me thinking; it would be fun to look back at dumb decisions I made based on my inability to project under-performance. I am always looking at the upside outside of health and age related issues with players. I rarely see someone who should turn into a total turd. What the hell was I thinking:
- My first marriage… I am not breaking this down but it is always on top of a list like this… kinda like number 2.
- The time I got the mac & cheese at the Great Wall Chinese Buffet. First, you should never eat at buffets; they are bacteria and virus plagued supernovas. Second, that goes double for Chinese buffets. Third, you don’t go radically off menu with a choice like mac & cheese. Just like you don’t get the cheeseburger at the Indian buffet.
- Ranking Blake Bortles as the number 10 QB overall: As I sit here watching the NFL highlight its product with the ever compelling Tennessee vs Jacksonville broadcast, I watch Bortles once again stink up the joint, producing a whopping 150 yards and a TD halfway through the 4th quarter before exploding at the end to put up a decent line. Still sucks. Bortles has not lived up to expectations and it is fair to say he has regressed like Ed Harris’s hairline. The Jaguars were a bit of a preseason darling, but that ship sailed.
- Expecting Carson Palmer to be able to produce following last year’s NFC Championship Game debacle: Palmer hasn’t really played any better than Bortles to be perfectly honest. The ball isn’t coming out the same, and he is incapable of making the big play downfield. Now, in his defense, Michael Floyd is turning in the worst contract year performance in history and it has cost Palmer and the team considerably. Floyd couldn’t catch a cold hanging out in an elementary school full of sick kids.
- Ranking Matt Ryan number 20 overall: In fairness, Ryan was actually drafted BEHIND Jay Cutler in Yahoo Fantasy! I wasn’t the only one, but in hindsight, I couldn’t have been more wrong as he and Drew Brees are deadlocked at the top of the league in performance.
- Any nice thing I ever said about Ryan Fitzpatrick: How do you get benched in favor of Geno Smith after holding out for more money? The Jets have talent and Fitzpatrick has crapped all over it with his 57% completion percentage for 1561 yards, 6 TD’s 11 INT’s and 5 fumbles. The Presidential Election isn’t that ugly.
- Russell Wilson is not anywhere close to the second best QB in fantasy football: You knew the Seahawks would miss Marshawn Lynch, but surely Wilson could step it up right? 5 TD’s, an INT, and 4 fumbles. Maybe it’s his wife’s fault?
- Coming up with the idea to make the ridiculous bet that the Cubs would never win the World Series or I would get their logo tattooed on my ass. I am a White Sox fan for the record. What can I say besides, Let’s Go Tribe! This one will move higher than #8 if the Cubs indeed win, believe me. But it will not move about numbers 1 & 2.
- Not ranking Marcus Mariota in the top 20: Given my position on Tony Romo, I should have had Mariota in his spot at a minimum. Mariota has played a lot better than a number of QB’s selected ahead of him in the draft let alone everybody on this list.
- Thinking Brock Osweiler is a legitimate starter in this league after John Elway implied he’s not by letting him walk: As a Bear fan who got stuck with an Elway castoff in Jay Cutler, I should have known better. But when I saw what Brian Hoyer could do with DeAndre Hopkins, I though Osweiler could at least equal that. Much to my chagrin, Brock has been terrible and currently on pace to have the lowest yards per attempt of QB in history for a single season. At 6’8, you would think you could see the defense a little better. Not Captain Check-Down.
Cutler’s Corner: When Brian Hoyer broke his arm, everybody including Jay Cutler yelled, “NOOOOOOOOOOOOO”!!!!!!! Bear fans thought they had seen the last of him, but no; Smokin’ Jay is back under center because as he so eloquently puts it, “He doesn’t have a choice” when referring to Coach John Fox. starting him vs Minnesota on Monday night. Arguably the best defense in the league against Jay Cutler. That should help propel the Bears further down the path to the number 2 pick in next year’s draft…not like the Browns are winning a game. As bad as Cutler is, if anybody has seen Matt Barkley play quarterback you would know that there is somebody worse than Smokin’ Jay in the league. He was just never supposed to see the field.